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Along the field I walk alone,
Stepping on twigs, leaves and stones,
I walk alone and think about,
The man I knew who will do me proud.

Enjoying the breeze upon my face,
Slowly drowing in your loving gaze,
Feeling your presence though you're far,
My ineffable joy is what you are.
©2007-2009 ~tskye
:icontskye:

Author's Comments

It's the kind of feeling that rushes past you when you take a walk alone and you start thinking about someone...

It's the kind of feeling I've been hiding...

-
I changed the last line from ' The man I knew I'd be proud of ' to ' The man I knew who will do me proud '

Now I feel good about this poem..hehe
Thank you BlondeHybird, for helping me choose the words to use :D

Comments


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:iconblondehybird:
Yay for titles. :)

The last line in the first stanza "The man I knew I'd be proud of" doesn't seem to fit with the subtle rhyming scheme that's happening in the other lines. Threw me off when I read it out loud.

But it's a very well written poem, besides. :)

--
My lord, my angel of darkness
~Uldron
And they spent their final hours together, crying a river of broken hearts.
:icontskye:
:D

I was waiting for someone to comment about that part..or else I'll be too hesitant to change that line... :P

--
running thirsty in the rain,
i'm breaking through these clouds again.
:iconblondehybird:
:D no worries.

But putting that line you said down "the man I knew who will do me proud" would work better, I think :)

--
My lord, my angel of darkness
~Uldron
And they spent their final hours together, crying a river of broken hearts.
:icontskye:
:hug: :)

--
running thirsty in the rain,
i'm breaking through these clouds again.
:iconblondehybird:
you're welcome :hug:

--
My lord, my angel of darkness
~Uldron
And they spent their final hours together, crying a river of broken hearts.
:icontskye:
& I thought you were gonna have supper and do homework :P
muhahahaha!

--
running thirsty in the rain,
i'm breaking through these clouds again.
:iconblondehybird:
supper's in the oven and now I'm off to do homework ;P

--
My lord, my angel of darkness
~Uldron
And they spent their final hours together, crying a river of broken hearts.
:icontskye:
supper for you, breakfast for me. yes, i'm off to do my homework as well :D

--
running thirsty in the rain,
i'm breaking through these clouds again.
:iconblondehybird:
well then, good luck to you :D

--
My lord, my angel of darkness
~Uldron
And they spent their final hours together, crying a river of broken hearts.

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January 13, 2007
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